I Hope You're Going Through Hell
by Allyn Night
Summary: Set after Erik catches Zoey and Blake having sex, but before he comes to teach at the school. His thoughts on what happened, with the help of the song Gives You Hell by the All American Rejects. Rated T for language.


**Me: Wow. I was going through my documents, and I found this. This was the very first fanfiction I ever tried to write. I know I said that Truth or Dare was, and technically it is. Reason being, this was never published. I'm amzed that I actually wrote a songfic, but the song just fit too well, starting with the very first line. Before you read this, you should know that it was written over a year ago and that I haven't changed anything. So if it sucks, keep that in mind.**

**Disclaimer: ****I do not, nor have I ever, owned: The House of Night series *sigh* or "Gives You Hell." They belong to P.C. Cast, Kristen Cast and the All-American Rejects. Onto the story!**

**Erik's POV:**

I was so pissed off that I couldn't even think straight, let alone form a coherent sentence. Lucky for me, no one chose to talk to me just then. Not just because I wouldn't be able to say anything back, but also because if anyone came up to me, I'd probably punch them in the face just to get some of my anger out.

I just couldn't get that image out of my head. Zoey and Blake lying there, completely naked, limbs intertwined. That guilty look on her face…

Dammit! If I didn't stop thinking about this, I would end up going out to _find _someone to punch in the face. _Music is a good way to distract you from something,_ I decided. Lucky for me, I had my I-pod with me, so I just set it to shuffle and listened to the first song that came on. It was "Gives You Hell" by the All-American Rejects. Well _that_ just figures, I thought. I started listening to the lyrics as they came on.

_I wake up every evening  
__With a big smile on my face.  
__And it never feels out of place._

Alright, now I'm not so sure I wake up with a smile on my face, but it's been about a week now since I caught them, and I'm starting to let go. Part of me knows I never will, but I've been better. At least until that picture makes it's way into my head. Then I'm furious all over again.

_And your still probably working  
__At a 9 to 5 pace.  
__Wonder how bad that tastes._

I smiled at the thought of that. After I caught her and Blake, she'd been in tears, and I'd said some pretty cruel things to her. Of course, that's not what I smiled about. It killed me to see her so hurt, and anyways, I'm not that much of an asshole. But I liked the idea of karma coming back and making her pay the consequences of her actions.

_When you see my face I hope it gives you hell,  
__I hope it gives you hell.  
__When you walk my way I hope it gives you hell,  
__I hope it gives you hell._

I'd already accepted Neferet's offer to temporarily take over the drama class back at school, despite knowing that Zoey would be there and in that class. The way I figure it, if she really DID like me, then seeing me there would practically kill her. It's mean, but it's a win-win for me. I can find out if she still likes me, and have a little fun.

_Now where's that picket fence, love?  
__And where's that shiny car?  
__Did it ever get you far?_

I told her it would be too bad that I wouldn't be there to say "I told you so" when Blake dumped her when he was done with the sex. Guess I would get to after all. I mean, there's no bloody way Blake actually loves her, not like I do. And at this point, he's probably already gotten rid of her, thrown her away like trash. Amazingly, as mad as I was, the thought of someone doing that to her still made me mad.

_You never seem so dead slow.  
__I've never seen you fall so hard.  
__Do you know where you are?_

Part of me was scared of what I'd find when I got back. Believe it or not, I really don't want to see her breakdown again. I didn't back down the first time-barely-but I wasn't so sure that I wouldn't forgive her if it happened again.

_Truth be told, I miss you.  
__Truth be told, I'm lying._

I was lying. I didn't miss her. In fact, I wanted her to suffer for what she'd done. Right?

_When you see my face, I hope it gives you hell.  
__I hope it gives you hell.  
__When you walk my way, I hope it gives you hell.  
__I hope it gives you hell.  
__If you find a man that's worth the damned and treats you well,  
__Then he's a fool.  
__It's just as well.  
__I hope he gives you hell._

What was I thinking?! Of course I don't miss her, I don't really want anything to do with her. What I really want is for her to have to go through the same pain that I did. Awful as it is, I really hope that Blake dumped her and she realized that she ruined our relationship for nothing.

_Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself,  
__Yeah, where did it all go wrong?  
__But the list goes on and on._

I didn't ruin it. She did. Then why do I still feel guilty? I shouldn't, it's not like I have anything to feel guilty about. _She,_ however, has plenty to be guilty about. Not only did she cheat on me with Blake, but also with her moronic human boyfriend, Health. Okay, that's not exactly fair. She may have imprinted him, but it was an accident. That doesn't mean I'm not mad about it.

_Truth be told, I miss you.  
__Truth be told, I'm lying._

I am so confused I don't know what do with myself. I mean, I don't think I miss her. And I'm almost positive that I don't regret breaking up with her, but didn't I just admit that I love her? Honestly, Nyx, now would be as good a time as any for some guidance here…nothing.

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell.  
__Hope it gives you hell.  
__When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell.  
__Hope it gives you hell.  
__If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well,  
__Then he's a fool.  
__You're just as well,  
__Hope it gives you hell_

_Now you'll never see, what you've done to me.  
__You can take back your memories they're no good to me.  
__And here's all your lies,  
__You can look me in my eyes  
__With that sad, sad look that you wear so well._

I knew that when I went back to the House of Night and saw Zoey in my class that she would look up at me with those big, bambi eyes and ask for my forgiveness. She'd put on that _look_, that sad, self-pitying look, and I'd give in. I couldn't let that happen, under any circumstances. I was willing to share her with one guy because I had to, but I wasn't about to put up with two. Even if Blake had already left her, she'd gone too far. I had to be tough.

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell.  
Hope it gives you hell.  
When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell.  
__Hope it gives you hell.  
When you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well,  
Then he's a fool.  
__You're just as well,  
__Hope it gives you hell._

_When you see my face, hope it gives you hell.  
Hope __it gives you hell.  
When you walk my way, hope it gives you hell.  
__Hope it gives you hell.  
Whenyou hear this song and sing along,  
__Oh you'll never tell.  
Then you're the fool.  
__I'm just as well,  
Hope it gives you hell_

_When you hear this song I hope that it will give you hell.  
You __can sing along, I hope that it puts you through hell._

That's it. I don't care about her, I don't miss her, I hate her!!! I'm going to make her life a living hell.

* * *

**Me: Meh. Don't like the ending very much. But that's okay!! It was a good trip down memory lane, back when I was a young, naive fanfiction writer. Haha, let me know what you think. Thanks for reading**!


End file.
